Burning down the Coach

Surav Ganguly came out in a press conference yesterday saying he was completely miffed with his Kolkata Night Riders coach, John Buchanan, has announced that the team for next seasons IPL will have multiple captains. And that does not involve all of Surav's personalities.

Now Buchanan is a bit out there, well I don't think he ever came in from 'out there' but somehow still managed to fax or SMS his coded message across. If it wasn't asking players to read 'The Art of war' before an Ashes series it was blind folding test cricketers and asking them to imagine playing the ball or catching the ball. This technique he imaginatively dubbed the 'Closed-eye technique'. I think the coach should open his eyes. This may have worked in Star Wars but were not battling Ewoks in 'Revenge of the care bears II'.

I digress.. To improve players' confidence he challenged them to discuss the merits of Hulk Hogan as a wrestler, the Bee Gees and just about anything else with zero relevance to cricket. Shane Warne put it most eloquently what he thought of these advanced training techniques for players at the top of their game, "a goose with verbal diarrhoea".

But Ganguly's comments that he was not consulted about the decision of multiple captains nor was any other senior member of the team, oddly enough make no sense to the coach. The next day, John Buchanan retorted with " I had already discussed with Sourav Ganguly the controversial theory of multiple captains for the team before making the announcement in a press conference on Wednesday". We can see how Ganguly was confused. He must have thought he was speaking to Chewbacca.

But nothing is better than a crying Ganguly to keep the effigy construction business in India alive. Yep, you got it, out came the fans burning effigies of Buchanan. Previous effigy burnings on behalf of Ganguly have involved when he lied about the then coach of India, Greg Chappell, sacking him and just about every occasion he is given out LBW, the umpires burn.

Now perhaps Ganguly is an innocent victim you say, he has so many fans, he thinks he is better than Pietersen. Well all this may be true, but aside from effigy burning fanatics and himself, poor old Ganguly does not have too many mates. With a reputation of a snob and a coward - "the coward reputation is all hearsay your honor", it is coincidence combined with team balance that I do not come out to bat when a very fast bowler is bowling, unless he is very tired".

Ganguly's County cricket career in England was not a success. In "The Wisden Cricketer" it was described as follows: "The imperious Indian - dubbed 'Lord Snooty' - deigned to represent Lancashire in 2000. At the crease it was sometimes uncertain whether his partner was a batsman or a batman being dispatched to take his discarded sweater to the pavilion or carry his kit bag. But mutiny was afoot among the lower orders. In one match Ganguly, after reaching his fifty, raised his bat to the home balcony, only to find it deserted. He did not inspire at Glamorgan or Northamptonshire either. At the latter in 2006 he averaged 4.80 from his four first-class appearances.